The baby ladies...

Can you really tell nature vs. nurture?  Are these two girls so incredibly different at this age because they just ARE, or are Andrew and I doing something crazily different?

We started out just the same with Ez as we did with Lua, waiting for my milk to come in and dealing with about a week of a supremely hungry (and fussy) baby.  Even weeks two and three were a bit rough. She wouldn't let me put her down, wouldn't let anyone else hold her...I thought we were in for another high needs baby (not that there's anything wrong with that...!).

 And then, after the first few weeks of figuring out the whole, "I'm out in the world and able to cry and breath and see!" thing, which was a bit (scary/crazy/sob-filled) rough, Esmé  blossomed into this dreamy, zen babe.  She sleeps!  She is delicate and talkative and just so amiable!  We walked the city all day yesterday without so much as a peep and every time Andrew looked at her, she busted out this big, gummy grin:) 

Now, before we get ahead of ourselves, or I write any further, know that I fully expect this to end at some point, maybe tonight, so you can just shut-it with the, Wait until a sleep regression's and your smug, YA, you say that nooowww's.  I know we may lose this.  I know it, and I'm okay with it.  Just let me roll around in the big pile of happy that is my second baby for a bit, will ya?!

Lua came out with a thick skin and a loud voice.  She slept in 1 hour naps all night until she was almost two.  She is wildly funny and smart.  She is emotional, passionate, eager.  She experiences feelings very intensely - be that shyness, happiness or anger;)  Or am I just describing your typical 3 year old?  Is Esmé just your typical second baby?

I've asked myself that a lot lately.  Because, inherent in having a second baby is the, also having to tend to the needs of your first baby, thing.  Inevitably, Esmé has cried a little more - waiting on the floor while I wipe her sister's nose - and has had to figure out how to be soothed with little more than an, "it's ok, baby!" from mama.  Lua never waited for ANYTHING.  I think I probably tried to hold her for the first 9 months of her life:)  Though, there's another big difference.  Lua didn't really like being held 24/7.  She loved to face out, ride in the stroller, etc.  She was an explorer like that.  Esmé startles easily and would rather be worn in a sling than ever ride in a stroller.

My pregnancies were different for sure.  Lua's was super easy.  While I was tired and a bit pukey-feeling, I only actually puked twice (ask me the story about swallowing in a subway tunnel someday) and was able to work all the way through.  I was managing an animal shelter at the time and there were many stressful days and many sleepless nights.  I felt connected to the pregnancy, but more in a look at how freakish this thing looks! kind of way.  I was rough on my body.  I ate poorly, exercised less and, honestly, felt a little more than weirded out the first time I felt Lua move.  Esmé was...you guessed it...different!  From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was puking.  All day, every day.  We're talking a good two months where I barely got off the couch.  As miserable as I was, I was still eating healthy and doing what little exercise I could.  Mostly, trying to keep up with a 2 year old (while puking).   And this could be inherent with all second babies, but I felt closer this time and more connected from the get-go.

I, of course, could also be looking at my tiny, happy baby being helplessly "snuggled," "patted" and "mama, I'm just going to touch her eye"-ed by my crazy-active kid, and that could be leading me a little more in the they are so different direction;).  I guess only time will tell!

I do adore them both and am amazed every day at what beautiful souls I've been blessed with to raise!

ps....that's me under there;)

10 things I wish I would've known as a new mama.

So, I've been thinking a ton about this lately.  Maybe it's because I'm going to be a mama to TWO very soon.  Maybe it's because a few of my friends are becoming new mamas this year.  Whatever the reason, I thought I'd jot down my 2 cents.


10.  Starting here.  Don't listen to anyone's advice.  Ha!  Or, rather, don't take any advice as fact.  Someone tells you, "the only way to do this one thing is THIS WAY." Run.  Or smile politely and think about Ryan Gosling.  Babies are each their own, special, incredible beast.  Some need 5 forty minute naps, some sleep for two hours at a time.  Some babies love to be held/swaddled, some would rather have their space.  And to go with that, every family is different.  It works for some mamas to babywear their wees all day long.  Some mamas can't even sort of entertain that idea.  It never hurts to listen and try-out advice to see if it works for your family, but in the end, don't be afraid to chuck it all out the window.

9.  Get in the bathtub!  Seriously, don't buy a silly baby tub.  Just get in with that babe.  Put a towel over your legs (it's going to get wet in the water and can double as a washcloth) and enjoy that soaking time.  If you can't do that, or plain-old don't want to, the sink is a nice alternative:)

8.  Get some postpartum clothes that are comfortable and make you feel good.  Seriously.  You're going to feel like a hot mess and you're not going to have time to shop or even think about what you're wearing.  I'm not saying to go buy some skinny jeans.  Maybe more like yoga pants?

7.  Breastfeeding hurts at first.  Why some (most) lactation consultants tell you that, if it hurts you're doing it wrong, I will never ever ever know.  It hurts.  Don't say it doesn't.  Even if you have the most perfect latch.  Your baby's mouth is small.  Your boobs are 17x larger than they ever have been before.  Both of you are new to this. And this is (most likely) the first time someone has sucked on your nipples for an hour at a time, ten times a day.  So, it's not comfortable.  Or kumbaya.  But I'm here to tell you that it will be.  Stick with it.  MAKE SURE you have a proper latch.  Stick with it.  It will become kumbaya.

6.  Make time for daddy.  Not baby/daddy time, although that is important.  Mommy/Daddy time.  Whether it is a 30 second hug in the kitchen or catching up on the latest episode (or 13) of House of Cards.  You're not going to be able to (read: feel like) get down and dirty with daddy for over a month after baby and while he totally understands that, remember that this whole baby thing is as much of a life changing experience for him as it is for you.  He suddenly has a whole new set of responsibilities and worries and it's pretty easy to feel neglected when almost all the attention is piled onto you and the wee one (as well it should be:).

5.  Figure out how to use the shit you bought before that baby comes.  Take two hours before you get too close to your due date (2 weeks, maybe?) and figure out how the car seat attaches to the stroller.  How to use your Moby wrap.  How the heck to swaddle.  I'll never forget, 3 days after Lua was born, we had to go down to her first pediatric appointment.  We didn't have time then to figure out the whole car seat-to-stroller thing and ended up carrying the car seat onto the subway and for about 10 blocks after.  If anyone has carried a car seat before, you know that you kind of have to carry it up and away from your body, so baby doesn't bang against your legs.  Let's just say we barely made it.

4.  The whole "sleep" thing.  Ya.  So.  I was pretty determined NOT to sleep-train my babies.  I personally thought sleep training was stupid and inhumane and if you weren't willing to be sleep deprived, then maybe you shouldn't be a mama.  Please don't take me seriously.  I was pretty sleep deprived at the time.  I will say that this time I plan to make a teensy effort to help babyko2 by creating a distinct difference between night and day.  No more midnight movie screenings with lights and sound.  This doesn't mean that I've hopped aboard the sleep train (get it?), but I do think that you have to do what makes you the best mama.  There were some days after I'd only gotten about 45 minute stretches of sleep that I felt really crazy.  Crazy enough to do something stupid?  Not quite.  But I would be bouncing/shhhhing/rocking/dancing Lu to sleep for the 50th time and she would be wailing and I would think, I can totally see how some people throw their children.  Don't throw your kids.

3.  Frozen witch hazel pads and a postpartum support band.  Both of these are for vaginal deliveries only.  Get some witch hazel and pour a bit into a large, cheap sanitary pad (or 10 or 20...I recommend closer to 20).  Then, stick them in a couple plastic bags and pop them into the freezer.  After you get home from the hospital/birthing center/wherever you pushed that baby out, you will most likely be SORE in so many delicate places.  Take a pad out and let it thaw for a few minutes, then use just like a normal pad.  So heavenly and cool and relieving.  The postpartum support is not just to get your pre-baby body back sooner, but also because every time you stand up, you may feel like everything is just going to fall out of your butt.

2.  Relish the immobile phase.  We are in full toddler mode around here, complete with imaginary forts, lego-building, monster-hiding and games where the rules are little more than, chase me around!.  How I long for the days when she would stay where I put her:)  When the activity mat counted as exercise.  When I could wash the dishes without someone trying to climb me like a tree.

1.  Take your time, but not too much.  Four months after Lua was born, I found myself, still in sweatpants, in front of the computer, finishing another season of Parenthood while Lua slept.  I realized I had taken the take it easy 's from everyone far too seriously.  I found out later that I had undiagnosed Hashimoto's disease, but I think if I would've gotten moving sooner, I would've realized sooner that there was a problem.  Give yourself time to just sit in your pj's and enjoy your brand new baby, but try to move, even a little bit, every day.  I like this rule of thumb: 5,5,5 - 5 days to just enjoy your new family.  Don't get out of bed if you don't feel like it!  5 days of sticking around the house.  Take it slow, stretch and breath every day.  Take the last 5 days and try and make it out for a walk at least once a day.  Continue to stretch, breath and enjoy your new family!!

thirty-one.

What better way to celebrate my 31st birthday, than to share a (guilty pleasure of mine) little peek at BabyKO2's wishlist!  There aren't many things we NEED for this babe, especially because she's a she and we saved everything.  There are a few things though, that I have discovered in my wise-old-two years as a mother ;), I think will surely be of use.  These things I kinda wish I had purchased last time, and I'm saving our pennies for this time around.  Though, to be honest, most of our pennies will probably go to a double stroller...how are the nice ones so expensive!?!

*Baby K'tan - I feel like this will be much more efficient for city living than was the Moby.  I liked the Moby - all except for the football-field-length fabric.  Hopefully, the K'tan is an answer for that.

*Blessed Nest Nursing Pillow - Now, I know.  Ringing in at just under 100 bucks, this little number might have you scratching your heads.  Why am I dying to try this pillow?  Mostly because my back is pretty much humped from the first two years of nursing.  Even with the Boppy, it was difficult for me to get Lua up high enough (without 5 extra pillows) to be effective.  My hope is that this buckwheat-filled number is super conform-able to baby's shape and will allow this nursing journey to be less of a strain!

*I've heard from numerous new mamas that the Fisher-Price Rock n Play sleeper is where their baby lived for the first few weeks.  It's portable and its sloped design keeps baby semi-upright.  A feature I wish we would've had for Lu!

These last two wish-list items are a bit frivolous, I'll admit:)

*The headband from wildjuniper is a perfect alternative for a summer baby newborn cap, don't you think?

*I labored in a too-tight sports bra with Lua.  This time, I want to be beautiful and comfortable.  So there.

Thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes.  I am so so so so lucky.   I mean, just look who I get to hang out with today...

check out BabyKO2's entire wishlist here.

Baby KO2! First Trimester Life Savers.

1.  Grapefruit was practically the only thing I could eat during the first few weeks of babyKO2.  Filled with nutrients, I didn't feel bad eating 2 of these a day:)

2.  Ok, I have to admit that the smell of this African Shea Butter was too much to handle at times during trimester uno, but in my quest for no 'new' stretch marks this time around, I've heard it's the best.

3.  One cannot live on grapefruit alone, I quickly found, and this cereal was an absolute go to.  Stays crunchy.  Packed with protein.  Just bland enough for the tummy, and just barely sweet.  

4.  These bottles helped me remember to drink a ton of water.  I could throw it in the diaper bag and fill it anywhere.  Also, when you can smell everything, things start to taste differently, too, including tap water.  The filter helps with that!

5.  You can ask anyone who saw me in Canada.  I lived in these Roots sweats. If they weren't so expensive, Andrew and I would've gotten them for the whole family for Christmas presents.  Along with those comfy sweats came loads and loads of SLEEP.  Made fantastically possible by my toddler's blessed hour long afternoon nap, as well as my amazing husband's ability to somehow wake up with Lua in the morning, giving me an extra hour or two in bed:)

6.  Later in my first trimester, when Shea butter was smelling too awful to slather, I turned to Bio Oil and have liked it so far!  It has a very unassuming scent and even the smallest bottle has lasted a LONG time.

Have a great weekend!